Last Chemo

Sunday April 26, 2009

Here I am three days after my last chemo treatment. It is hard to believe it is over. Of course I still have the next few days where the chemo is still in my body and all the side effects, but still it is truly a blessing and a miracle to be to this point.

On Thursday as we were talking to the doctor, she asked me what I disliked the most about the experience/treatments. I couldn’t think of anything specific and I said just not being myself for a week and a half each treatment. I asked Jack what I had complained about the most and he said I didn’t complain about much. Later when I came home and was resting after my treatment, I shot straight up in bed and thought duh my HAIR loss. That has been and continues to be the hardest part. Then I started thinking oh yeah and night sweats, and the funny tastes in my mouth, being nauseated every now and then, dry, dry skin anyway the list could go on and on. But I don’t really think about any of these things that much, you just do what you have to do. I just thought it was funny that I couldn’t come up with anything for the doctor when my hair loss has been the biggest challenge and thing I fuss about the most.

The doctor was very positive and said she didn’t see any reason why the Lymphoma should return and said I could be their poster person because I seemed to do so well compared to others. I have truly been blessed not to have so many more of the symptoms that come with this disease, mouth sores, itchy scalp, numb toes and fingers and the list goes on. All in all we felt pretty good about my chances of really being cancer free. Now I want to research and continue my reading to make sure I do everything I can to ensure that is the outcome.

Friday I felt pretty good. We went to the Jordan River Temple with Josh and Amber and Jacki and Brian. Jamie and Kirk were away on a weekend trip for their 12th Wedding Anniversary (amazing I have kids that have been married that long, Jed and Jamie will celebrate their 16th Wedding Anniversary in September) and were not able to join us and of course the rest of the kids live far away but I am sure they were thinking of us. We went to the Texas Roadhouse for dinner after. It was a great celebration for the end of my treatment. There is nothing like the temple to renew our faith and bring us strength and hope. What a great blessing temples are in our lives.

Saturday threw me for a loop. I was nauseated most of the day and I couldn’t sit still or focus. By night time I was ready to crawl out of my skin. I finally got to sleep, at one point I almost woke up Jack to have him give me a blessing. But I went and read the Ensign, walked around the house a few times and prayed again. It worked I fell asleep and I woke up feeling better, hoping I don’t have to go through what I did yesterday. At least I am concentrating enough to be able to write my journal. Although it may not make much sense.

I am really looking forward to Mother’s day. I will get to talk to my two missionaries sometime around then. I don’t know how they work it out Jon is 17 hours ahead of us and Jessica is 7 hours ahead us. I just know I will talk to them sometime. What a joy that will be.

I am sure the reason that my treatments have gone so well is because of all of the prayers, fasting, putting my name on the temple rolls, support, concern and the constant out pouring of love from all my dear ones. Thank you Father in Heaven for placing angels along my path, for all those who have cared and been there when needed. Thank you for giving me heroes to look up to and to follow. Thank you for your constant care and love. Thank you for my Savior and for helping me understand a small part of what it must have been like for him to suffer and for you to stand back and let him. As always thank you dear Father for all of my dear ones, my family and friends that continue to be my angels and my heroes. To my angels and my heroes I love you all. Thank you for being a part of my life.