Chemo Round Three

February 21, 2009

Wednesday night I didn’t want to go to bed. I had felt so good and wanted to enjoy it as long as possible. Finally at 1:00am Thursday morning I decided I couldn’t put off the inevitable any longer and I went to bed. I dragged my feet a little in the morning so we were a little later than usual getting to the doctors office. But all in all we seemed to get done about the same time. We got to the doctors at 9:20 am and got home around 4:30 pm. In the afternoon as I was finishing up Jamie and I noticed a woman crying on the nurses shoulder, we over heard her say well I guess that means I will have to have two more treatments. Which is kind of where I am at this moment. My PET scan will be March 10 and will determine if I just have 3 more treatments or if I will have 5 more treatments. If the cancer is gone then it will be just the 3 more treatments if not then I will have 5 treatments and then another scan and we go from there. It was a bit heart wrenching to witness this and realize this will be me facing a similar situation in a few weeks and so desperately wanting it to only be 3 more times. Each treatment seems to take on a life of its own. This time I felt like I was doing really good, I was getting ready to go to the wedding and reception of a dear friend’s daughter and whammy, I got so nauseated by the time I took my nausea medicine, laid down and felt like getting up again, we had missed the event. Jack and I went to bed a 9:14 pm. So totally alien to whom I use to be.

Saturday we decided to go to the temple. I have been a little paranoid about going because I was worried about wearing my wig and having it fall off during several key parts in the ceremony. Good news, the wig stayed where it was suppose to and everything was great. It was wonderful to be in the temple, to be with my sweet eternal companion whom I adore so much.

I feel a little more nauseated this time, they said each time would be a little different and each time as your body wears down from the chemo things might take a little longer to get over or to come back to close to normal, but you still keep hoping that it is quicker for all your body’s functions to work how you have always planned and taken for granted.

The doctor said I could go with Jack to his meeting San Diego even though I will miss my stats appointment. She said if anything happened (a fever over 100.4 or really bad sore throat and some other symptoms) I would have to be treated in the emergency room, because they would need to know exactly what kind of infection I was fighting, which scared me a little bit, but said that I would still be fine. So I get to go to San Diego and rest down there and that is a happy plan to me.

I have received so much loving, tender, caring support from each of you. I can’t express my deepest love and how much each of you have touched my heart and have helped to make this burden lighter by your kindness and sweet thoughts and deeds. Thank you, you are the best!

I know Heavenly Father knows me and knows what I need to make me strong and to make me worthy to live with him and my Savior and my beautiful family and my sweet friends forever. So whatever it takes to make that happen you can count me in, since that is my whole reason for being here.

Well I am a little sluggish this morning and need to go lay down. I hope to add some pictures later. I love you all!