January 23, 2009

January 23, 2009
Another crazy week in my life. Jon had emailed us that he may be able to call us from the airport on Monday before he left for Australia. We had no idea when he would be leaving so I looked on line at times that flights would be leaving for Australia. There were 4 or 5 time possibilities. I almost decided to just go the airport and hang out on the chance I would see him, but I knew he would want me to be obedient and do as our leaders have asked us and not go to the airport when our missionaries are leaving for their missions from the MTC. He called around 4:00 pm and said “Hi, mom”, well that did it for me. I was brave while I was talking to him, but I cry every time I think of him. When he was at the MTC (mission training center) it was just like he was away on a trip and he would be back any second, but knowing he was leaving the country the far, far away part became a reality.
On Tuesday another reality set in. My hair started falling out. I had convinced myself that I would be one of the ones that wouldn’t loose their hair. Fat chance of that. Tuesday I tried to be real careful, and sprayed lots of hairspray on so that my hair would stay in place and hopefully stay on my head. Wednesday I tried to do the same thing with a lot less success. Thursday I became fascinated with seeing how much really would come out realizing that this would be the last day with a full head of hair for awhile because it was too sad and too hard to keep trying to put off the reality that it was all going to come out. Jack and I are at an orthodontic meeting in Phoenix. When he came back from his meeting at lunch time to check on me I told him we would have to shave my head. I dreaded the thought of it, and keep putting my wig and hat on trying to figure out what it would be like. My wig made me feel like I was one of the Beatles and my hat made me feel squished (flat). I wore my wig to dinner and a movie. By the time I got home it was hot and itchy and I could hardly wait to take it off. They told me this would be an emotional day no matter how hard you prepared for it. Well, they were right. Jack held me and told me I would be beautiful even without hair while I cried and told him I didn’t see how that would be possible. I finally decided the agony of waiting was over. We had wanted to have a hair party or something on Sunday with the grandkids where we could cut my hair or let them make designs in it, we hadn’t figured out exactly what we would do yet. But when my hair started falling out I thought wow this might be scary for the younger grandbabies to play with my hair and have it fall out in their hands. That decision was taken out of our hands because the shaver Jack had brought that was suppose to do three different lengths only wanted to work on the closest to the head length. He tried for a long time to make the other lengths work but it was pretty splotchy and uneven so in the end we had to go with the closest to the head length which is almost nothing left. It is almost a relief to have this part over with. The dreading and agonizing over it was way to time consuming. It is shocking to see yourself without hair and it is hard for me believe or see it, when after he was done Jack told me I was beautiful and had beautiful delicate features, but I think Heavenly Father helps us to look beautiful to those we love and who love us so I am thankful for that. So there you go another adventure to go on and lots of new experiences like wondering who that person is in the mirror, and wearing wigs and hats. I do have to say it was pretty easy getting ready this morning before I went to breakfast with Jack. Just throw on my wig and off I go. As I write this I am wearing a hat my cute daughter-in-law Jamie, insisted on buying me on our trip to the sugar bowl even though I thought at the time I will never wear this, but she assured me I would need it and I would be happy I had it. Well, she is right! I am not sure I will get to the point where I can wander around the house without something covering my head, because I will scare myself and the grandkids, but she assured me this to would happen also.
I feel great almost normal, this is suppose to be my good week before I start the process all over again. I have a little bit of a cold still, most foods taste different but good and water tastes okay.
I have so many blessings and I am so thankful for all that I have. I am so thankful for my precious family and for dear, dear friends. I can’t thank you enough for your words of encouragement, love and support.
Love,
Margo