This week has been much better for Margo both emotionally and physically. However, by the middle of the week hair was coming out in handfuls and so anticipating a more extensive loss of hair while we were in Phoenix at the Damon orthodontic meeting, I brought the clippers that I have had for years to trim a beard, and Margo brought one of the wigs she had bought with Jamie and Jacki and a one of the hats that Jed’s Jamie bought for her while we were in New Orleans for the Sugar Bowl . By Thursday night it became obvious that though not all her hair was gone, there was enough gone that there was no way to ‘fix’ it to make it look presentable. By this time I am sure that the J W Marriott Resort employee that serviced our room was wondering where all the hair in the bathroom was coming from anyway. So Thursday night, at Margo’s bidding (while sitting in the bathtub to partially contain the mess), I removed what was left of her hair. Immediately, I was impressed by the delicate features of her face, her pretty little neck and how her eyes sparkled (they glistened with not a few tears that night but this was something quite different from that). In a strange sort of way, this has given me an insight into a part of Margo’s beauty that I otherwise would have missed. My heart ached for her and I was really angry at first. All I could think of was a little verse that is on plaque that my dad had, when I was growing up (that I still have):
SAY DAMN
It does You no good to grow bitter,
When luck up and hands you a slam.
Lie down and You lose as a quitter,
Just grit your teeth and say DAMN!
Damn, damn, damn cancer indeed!
I so admire Margo’s courage and infectious positive outlook. She has been more concerned that it will frighten the grandkids to see her without hair than anything else. She has a complete lack of pretense or vanity for herself. This morning (Sunday January 25th) Jamie invited us downstairs for some multi-grain pancakes for breakfast and the grandkids wanted Margo to remove her hat so they could see. Upon removing her hat the older kids and Kari were evidently prepared , but Jackson who is 4 almost 5 blurted, “What the heck!”.
Prior to this diagnosis it would have been hard for me to imagine myself having any more tender feelings for her, and yet now those feelings have grown exponentially. I am profoundly grateful for my new insight and we are so appreciative of the many expressions of love and concern and the prayers offered in her behalf. Margo has commented to me how undeserving she feels to be the recipient of these offerings of love; but I hope that I have convinced her that they are the direct result of the kind of person she and the kind of life she has lived.